I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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