maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
