used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
In other news, I just burned my penis
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
and you fell through a lawn chair
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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