i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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