all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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