All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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