butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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