Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize