So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
