I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
