My room smells like vodka and shame
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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