Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm just crazy horny about you
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
