Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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