he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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