Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
