There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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