butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
