thus making me awesome and them whores
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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