direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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