There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
