Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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