Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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