i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
