just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize