This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
