Yo dont text me then not text me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
