Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
