And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
