so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
