can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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