OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
