fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
