Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
