Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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