ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
