So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
