they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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