you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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