Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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