Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
