the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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