Im at strip club and am horny
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My penis needs a shock collar
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
