Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
