Im at strip club and am horny
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize