you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
