Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
