Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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