Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
