Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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