I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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