Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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