There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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