And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
