This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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