Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
