Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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