I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize