WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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