yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
