she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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