i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
