I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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