Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
