oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
