I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
