Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
