a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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